Markets are weird. Sometimes they go up because investors are optimistic. Sometimes they go up because investors are pessimistic but pretending to be optimistic so they can sell to someone even more optimistic. And sometimes, they go up because a chicken in a blazer announces a merger.
This week in Africa, markets did all of the above.
Kenya
The Nairobi Securities Exchange strutted into the green with the NASI up (+2.8%), NSE 10 (+3.2%), NSE 20 (+3.9%), and NSE 25 (+2.9%), possibly because investors were feeling good.
Market turnover hit USD 17.7 million, up 13.7%. Equity Group climbed 3.8% to KES 54.50, which is what happens when earnings look good and nobody asks too many questions.
Rwanda
The Rwanda All Share Index (ALSI) soared 13.1%, mostly because KCB Group decided to hand out a special dividend. The stock jumped 52.4%, offsetting BK Group’s 1.5% stumble. Turnover, however, fell 61.6%, a classic example of what happens when everyone buys the same stock and then goes home.
Malawi
The Malawi All Share Index (MASI) soared to 449,662.23 points, up from 425,534.71. The rally was driven by STANDARD, NICO, PCL, NBS, NITL, and FMBCH.
Nigeria
Meanwhile, Nigeria’s local bourse took a nap. The benchmark index fell 77 bps, and the MEP lost 79 bps, underperforming by a whopping 2 bps. Still, the MEP’s YTD return of 42.98% kept it ahead of the ASI’s 40.52%.
The underperformance was driven by profit-taking in WAPCO, GTCO, ZENITHBANK, and INTBREW-stocks that are apparently loved too much. STANBIC rose 10% punishing investors for their emotional negligence.
Ghana
Trading turned bullish, with share volume up 71% and traded value up 54%. Market cap rose 0.17% to GH₵151.08 billion, which is a technically growth, even if it feels like someone just added coins to the piggy bank and called it a capital injection.
Beyond the closing Bell
Emergency Press Conference: Eggs & Economics
Camera crews scrambled. Coop reporters clutched tiny microphones like breadcrumbs of truth.
Chairhen Ndunge, resplendent in a feathered blazer and talon-polished heels, strutted to the podium. Behind her, the KukuSelect logo flickered like a broken incubator light.
“Ladies, gentlemen, and farm animals,” she began, voice steady despite the chaos. “Today marks a pivot in our coop’s legacy. Kari’s exit triggered volatility. EPS cracked. FeatherFlow recommends a strategic merger.”
A chick journalist peeped nervously, “So, are we bankrupt?”
Ndunge smiled the kind of smile only a hen who’s binge-read McKinsey reports and survived three restructuring cycles can muster. “Not bankrupt. We are diversified. Into the mud.”
Mbogo, freshly promoted from Head of Pecking Order to Head of PR, adjusted his tie made of recycled feedbags. “We are embracing Organic Growth,” he declared, with the solemnity of a rooster announcing sunrise.
Applause from the pigs. Mild panic from the hens. One rooster fainted. Another began shorting corn futures on his cracked iEgg.
And just like that, the merger was approved. Not because it made sense. But because it was the only thing left to do.
