This is the season for mangos as most markets in Nairobi and other towns in the country are flooded with mangoes.
This yellow fruit does something to us!
Watch any Kenyan at a fruit stand. We sniff mangoes like sommeliers at a wine tasting. We squeeze them with the tenderness of a cardiologist checking your pulse. We hold them up to sunlight like counterfeit inspectors at CBK.
If mango vendors wrote memoirs about their customers? Instant bestsellers.
The fancy one slices it perfectly. Uses a fork, gloves, and tissues.
The chaotic legend bites straight in. Juice everywhere. Face sticky. Arms dripping. Zero regrets. This is the Ukambani goat energy we respect.
The closet eater hides in the bedroom because they are avoiding judgment.
Kambas are now running this country. The moment those mango trees started bearing fruit, Ukambani became Wakanda.
Suddenly, your Kamba friend is now untouchable. Unreachable. Posting mango tree photos on WhatsApp statuses like they own Bitcoin mines.
They remember everything. That time you didn’t reply to their text? Noted. Busy for their birthday? They wrote it down in the book of grudges.
Now they are sitting under their trees, eating mangoes in peace, while you are out here buying from roadside vendors at inflated prices.
The audacity is real. They will post photos captioned “Harvest season” with a smirking emoji. They know exactly what they are doing. And honestly? Respect. If I had a mango tree, I would be petty too.
“I’ll eat two a day for vitamins.”
Then you eat eight before lunch.
The fridge is packed. The car boot is full. In your bae’s handbag. Everywhere.
We become hoarders and mango addicts.
If KEBS inspected our mango hoarding habits? Half of Nairobi would be shut down.
Mango season unites us. No politics. No tribal nonsense.
Celebrate this madness. And because you are clearly here for food content, here is a recipe that slaps harder.
Creamy Kenyan mango-mint delight
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Chill Time: 10 minutes
Servings: 2 people (or 1 very greedy person)
Difficulty: Easier than parallel parking
Ingredients
- 2 ripe mangoes (the softer, the better)
- ½ cup natural yoghurt (none of that flavored nonsense)
- 1 tablespoon honey (or sugar if you’re broke this month)
- Handful of fresh mint (about 10 leaves)
- 1 squeeze of lemon (just one, don’t overdo it)
Instructions
Step 1: Peel your mangoes. Chop into cubes.
Step 2: Toss all the ingredients in a blender. Blend until it looks like sunshine in a cup.
Step 3: Finely chop the mint. Gently fold it into the puree.
Step 4: Refrigerate for 10 minutes.
Step 5: Serve cold. Ignore the fact that you ate six mangoes earlier.
Pro tips
- Use frozen mango chunks for extra thickness
- Add a pinch of chili powder if you’re feeling adventurous
- Double the recipe because one serving is never enough
Great for breakfast or dessert.
